Ok so this? This is the Brick. You may remember it from such places as Saved By the Bell and 1992. But this is 2014, and you can buy a brand new one. For real!
The brick is a two-way device, meaning you can either pop your SIM card in it and use it as your regular cell, or you can connect to it via Bluetooth. The base model ($70) has a whole month of battery life and the bigger version ($100) has a whopping three months of juice (haha, what?). The retro device also doubles as a Bluetooth speaker. Also you can play Snake. Snake!
Yes, maybe the world has gone a little far with our 90s nostalgia, and no, there is absolutely no reason to own this. But I actually can't hate on the Brick too hard. It's downright ridiculous and almost definitely should not exist, but what the hell! Sometimes fun for fun's sake is a good thing. Also, I have made the argument many times that I want less of a phone, not more of a phone. Well, here you have it, back to life.