This Collar That Reads Pets' Emotions Is a Tech Travesty
Tucked among the booths at CES is a small company called Kyon. It wants to revolutionize the pet
The Guardian stumbled on the smart collar while making the rounds and included it in a roundup of gadgets that, ya know, are maybe kind of stupid. Let me tell you, this one is definitely stupid.
The collar handles a lot of different tasks, allegedly. According to the
, it tracks your pet with
Some of that is just fine (GPS tracking), some of it is dubious (looks cool) and some of it is an outrageous abomination. How does this thing know what a dog is feeling? Well, according to Kyon, it uses "unique algorithms" to interpret your pet's feelings. Gotcha. Here's a helpful video:
In that example, office guy checks the app while he works and finds out that his dog is experiencing "normal activity" while it tears his shit up. Nice. Good to know. When the dog is sleeping, office guy gets a message that his dog is experiencing "irregular low activity." Maybe the dog's depressed. Maybe not. But this knowledge sure as hell isn't going to get those TPS reports filed any quicker.
Here's how to know this company is likely full of shit: Nick Christakis, an international sales associate at Kyon tells
that his cat Nicholas has enjoyed wearing the collar. Lies! No cat has ever enjoyed wearing a collar.
Outside of getting cryptic alerts about your pet's
Don't tell me what my dog is feeling. If he's happy, I'll know. If he's moody, I want to ask myself, "what's goin' on with him" not "oh he's moody forget about it." This collar will ruin your interpretations of your dogs delightfully mysterious behavior. My relationship with my dog's emotions is not something that Silicon Valley needs to disrupt, thank you.
Here's a dog enjoying the Kyon Pet Tracker:
[ The Guardian ]